Wasted Years
by BettyHall223
Summary: This is a sequel to Goodbye Jack. Sam and Jack are forced to see each other again.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are not my property. No copyright infringement is intended._

 **A/N: In 2008 someone asked me to write a story where Jack and Sam are not together at the end so I wrote "Goodbye Jack." Many readers were not happy with the outcome of that story so this is the sequel. Although I wrote "Goodbye Jack" seven years ago, the timeline in this takes place two years later.**

Jack gazed out the windshield of the C-12 Huron. Although it felt good to be sitting in the pilot's seat again, Houston, Texas was the last city in the United States he wanted to be heading to and in particular, NASA's Johnson Space Center.

Two years ago, Sam had written him a letter telling him goodbye and abruptly left her job at Cheyenne Mountain and started her new position at the Center.

Upon her arrival in Houston, President Hayes and the Joint Chiefs had requested that she meet with them and General Hammond in Washington. Knowing that Sam had been involved with the stargate program and her background in astrophysics, they had asked that she begin a research and development program to invent weapons to defend Earth against a possible alien invasion and was given the privilege of choosing her own staff.

A few days after returning to the Center, she asked General Hammond to have four of the scientists from Stargate Command transferred to Houston since they already knew about the stargate and life on other planets. General Hammond discussed the transfer with him and approval was given.

During the following months, he heard from General Hammond just how impressed President Hayes and the Joint Chiefs were with Sam and her staff and the work they were accomplishing there.

The President talked with Sam frequently and now felt that the highest ranking NASA officials should be informed about the stargate, so three people from the Space Center in Houston and three from the U.S. Space and Rocket Center in Huntsville, Alabama were chosen to meet with the President and Joint Chiefs in Washington.

Paul Davis had attended the meeting and explained the nondisclosure agreement that each person was required to sign.

Sam was asked to attend and she had been the one to break the news to the officials about the stargate. The two women and four men were astounded to learn about this alien technology that had been privy to only a small group of scientists and Air Force personnel.

President Hayes had informed the group that when Sam had been in the Air Force at NORAD, he had been Sam's CO and they had been on the same team, exploring other planets. Since he was the base commander and had first-hand knowledge of having been through the gate, everyone in the group wanted to meet him so the meeting was scheduled for today.

When President Hayes had told him he wanted him there, he tried to persuade him to have Daniel attend since he had more knowledge of the discovery of the gate and had gone through as many times as he had, but the President had insisted that he come instead of Daniel.

The President had offered to let him pilot a plane to Houston instead of flying on a commercial airline. It had been a long time since he had sat in the cockpit and taken control. Since the President wanted him in Houston and would not allow him to get out of attending, he thought he might as well enjoy this part of the trip.

Knowing he would have to see Sam, he wanted this meeting to go as quickly as possible so he could get out fast and back to Colorado Springs.

As he looked at the fluffy white clouds, his thoughts turned to the letter that Sam had given him and the last day he had seen her. The letter had upset him greatly and wanting to see her one last time before she left Colorado, he had parked his truck on the side of the road up the street from her house. He could still remember how much it hurt when he had watched as she got into her car, started to cry and drove out of his life.

Over the next several months, he tried to stay busy and not think about Sam but General Hammond or someone else would send an e-mail regarding how the research was progressing and back came the memories. The memories of meeting Sam for the first time; getting to know each other; learning to trust each other; becoming friends and slowly falling in love with her.

There was also the memory of Sam getting engaged to Pete. When she had showed him an engagement ring, he felt that he had truly lost his chance so he had gotten involved with Kerry Johnson but Sam had showed up unexpectedly at his house, telling him she was having doubts about the wedding. The next day, Kerry ended their brief relationship and Jacob died. After Jacob's funeral, and much to his relief, Sam had given the ring back to Pete.

He had taken Sam, Daniel and Teal'c to his cabin for a short vacation. He knew he should have told Sam then that he loved her but he had lost his courage so they came back to the Springs and nothing had changed between them. Very shortly thereafter, Sam had given him the letter and left for Houston.

He never asked anyone about her. He felt it was best that he didn't know any of the details of Sam's personal life, but he wondered if she was seeing anyone because a woman as beautiful and intelligent as Sam was bound to attract other men.

Although women flirted with him at times, he had not dated anyone since Sam had been gone. He had no desire to spend time with another woman but preferred to be by himself. He knew that no one in the universe would ever occupy his heart the way Sam did and his heart was still an open wound.

About a year after Sam had left, he had been promoted again and General Hammond came to the Mountain for the ceremony.

General Hammond returned to Washington and a week later, Sam had flown in to meet with the President and while she was there, she had dropped by to see him. General Hammond had told Sam about his latest promotion and Sam had asked him to "tell General O'Neill congratulations for me."

The next day, General Hammond called and when he told him what Sam had said, he had not responded to Sam's comment, so General Hammond brought up the subject that they had been avoiding.

"Jack, I want to ask you something."

"Okay."

"Do you still love Sam?"

He stared at his desk, took a deep breath and hesitated for several moments. "Yes."

"Then why don't you try to talk to her? See if you can work things out."

"Sam left, George. She doesn't want to be here. She hasn't come back, she isn't coming back and I'm not going to go after her. This was her choice."

"Well . . . it's just that . . ."

"Just what?"

"When I told her about your promotion, she got this sad look in her eyes. I'm sure she misses you and she still cares about you too."

"As I said, she's the one that left. Not me."

"Jack, if you'd just try a little harder to tell her how you feel, she might . . ."

"I don't want to talk about it anymore, George."

"Okay, Jack, but I think you're being a stubborn fool."

Before he could reply, General Hammond hung up on him.

He was brought out of his thoughts as he realized he was close to Houston, so he talked with the air traffic controller to get clearance to land.

He had been told that someone would be waiting for him just outside the terminal to drive him to the Center.

As the plane came to a stop, he stared out the windshield and said out loud "I really don't want to do this. I just want this day to be over."

 **~oOo~**

Sam hurried down the long corridor of the building to her office, closed the door and sat down at her desk. She unlocked a drawer and picked up the note cards for her presentation and glanced through them. The meeting with the NASA officials was scheduled to start in thirty minutes.

When the meeting had been held in Washington two weeks ago and she had told the officials about the stargate, President Hayes proposed that she show them her research lab and the work going on there.

The President had informed them that Jack had been the man to lead the first expedition through the stargate so everyone wanted to meet him. She had suddenly felt as if she could hardly breathe when the President had told them that he would have Jack attend so she and Jack could answer all the questions the officials would want to ask.

After the meeting in Washington, she sat on an airplane to return to Houston and stared out the window as she remembered the letter that she had given Jack, telling him she thought it was best that she leave Colorado.

She remembered that Daniel had called her the day after she arrived in Houston to start her new job. Daniel had tried to talk to her about the letter and how upset Jack had been but she had interrupted him, telling him the decision was made and she didn't want to discuss it further. She and Daniel still kept in touch but now whenever they chatted on the phone, Daniel had finally stopped telling her anything about Jack and she didn't ask about him.

When she had first arrived in Houston, she had felt that staying busy would distract her from thinking about Jack but now after all this time, even the smallest things still remind her of him. She picks up a cup of blue Jell-O in the cafeteria and tears sting her eyes as she remembers having silly arguments with Jack over whether red or blue tasted best. When something goes wrong, she catches herself mumbling "for crying out loud." When she's working late into the evening and her staff left hours ago, she remembers the numerous times that Jack wandered into her lab at night and ordered her to go home and get some sleep. Tears still fill her eyes when she remembers all those times she would catch herself staring at Jack, wondering what it would be like to kiss him, to make love with him, to be his wife and to have his child. She sometimes sees a truck just like the one Jack drives and her heart jumps to her throat as she stares at the driver to see if it might be him and feels disappointed when it is not. She walks out on the balcony of her apartment when she can't sleep, looks up at the sky and remembers the few times that she and Jack sat on the roof of his house, gazing at the millions of stars through his telescope and talking until well past midnight. She remembers Jack's dumb jokes and finds herself smiling. She remembers the team barbecues at Jack's house and movie nights at her house and how much fun the four of them had together. She thinks about all those quiet conversations at night with Jack on other planets, sitting with weapons on their laps as Teal'c and Daniel slept.

She will never forget that one specific night as she and Jack sat together in the chilly air beside a campfire on a deserted planet and how he opened up to her, for the one and only time, about Sara and Charlie. Watching the look of sadness on Jack's face, she choked back tears as she listened to him reveal the disappointment of his and Sara's divorce and how close he had come to committing suicide when Charlie had accidentally shot himself.

Sometimes when she thinks she is doing so well, Jack invades her dreams and she wakes up crying, leaving her to wonder if he will ever be out of her heart.

Since the meeting two weeks ago in Washington, she had tried to stay very busy so she wouldn't think too much about having to see Jack again and she wondered if he was feeling apprehensive about seeing her too.

She didn't know, since she refused to talk with anyone about Jack, but maybe there was a new woman in his life. Jack was a very attractive man and it would be no surprise to her if he was seeing someone else.

Since she had been in Houston, she had met or had been introduced to men who had asked her out but she had turned down all of them. Still feeling the pain of the situation with Jack, she had no desire to get involved with anyone new. She just wasn't ready to allow herself to be that vulnerable again.

She had hardly slept last night, wondering how she and Jack would react to seeing each other today.

Hearing voices in the corridor, she knew the group had arrived as they were escorted to the conference room.

Wanting to check her appearance, she grabbed her purse and headed to the restroom. As she went around the corner, she came to a sudden stop when she saw Paul Davis shaking hands with Jack. Although Jack had his back to her, she would have known him anywhere. She could feel her heart speed up at just getting a glimpse of him. Before he could turn around and see her, she quickly opened the restroom door and went inside.

Standing in front of the mirror she reapplied her lipstick and combed her hair.

Taking a few steps back, she straightened her suit jacket and stared at her reflection. Putting her hand to her chest, she briefly closed her eyes and breathed slowly as she tried to calm her racing heart.

Returning to her office, she locked her purse in her desk, grabbed her notes and headed to the conference room, knowing that after two years, she was about to come face to face again with Jack.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

As Sam entered the room, she heard someone calling her name and turned to see Paul walking toward her.

"Sam, it's good to see you. Sorry we didn't get a chance to chat when I saw you in Washington."

"It's good to see you too, Paul. Congratulations on your recent promotion."

"Thanks. I've heard nothing but good things about you from General Hammond and the President since you've been here."

"That's nice to know. I really enjoy the work we do here."

"You don't miss all the excitement of getting kidnapped or shot at?" Paul asked with a grin.

Sam smiled. "Not in the least. I'm glad that part of my career is behind me."

As they talked, Sam glanced around to see Jack holding a cup of coffee and talking with one of the men from Huntsville.

Paul excused himself to go speak with someone so Sam sat down at the table and looked through her notes.

Feeling someone watching her, she looked up to see Jack staring at her.

She smiled nervously and he gently smiled back.

They continued to stare until Paul walked up beside her and said something as Jack sat down in a chair on the other side of the table.

Paul closed the door so no one in the corridor could hear what would be said in the room and as he came to the podium, he asked everyone to be seated.

As he was about to start the meeting, the door opened and General Hammond walked in.

"Sorry I'm late" the General said as he closed the door and took a seat.

Paul smiled. "You're not late, sir. We were just about to begin."

Paul paused for a moment. "Two weeks ago, President Hayes, the Joint Chiefs and Colonel Samantha Carter met with you in Washington. Each of you signed a nondisclosure agreement regarding the content of that meeting. I just want to reiterate that this meeting is classified and the nondisclosure agreement stands. In the meeting you were informed about the stargate and the fact that there are other inhabited planets throughout the universe."

As Paul spoke, Jack kept his eyes on Sam. The last time he had seen her, her hair was short but it was now down to her shoulders. She looked beautiful.

Sam glanced down at her lap and looked up to see Jack staring at her. Their eyes met for several seconds until she turned her head, looked up at Paul and tried to concentrate on what he was saying.

From the end of the table, General Hammond watched Jack and Sam. Knowing they were still in love with each other, he thought that if they could just be alone together without any interruptions, maybe they would finally talk. He just wanted to set both of them down and tell them that life was too short to be apart.

Paul continued. "As you have learned, Colonel Carter heads the research division here at the Center. Also with us today is Major General Jack O'Neill who was Colonel Carter's commanding officer when they worked together in the Air Force at NORAD. They have traveled together through the stargate to numerous planets so I'm sure all of you have questions that you would like to ask them. I turn the meeting over to you, Colonel."

Paul took a seat as Sam stood up. Feeling her hands shaking, she laid down her notes and gripped the sides of the podium.

Sam explained about joining the Air Force, when she had first been told about the stargate and reassignment from the Pentagon to NORAD and her position now at the Center.

She glanced at Jack. "I first met General O'Neill when he was a Colonel and I was a Captain. General Hammond was the commander of the base during mine and General O'Neill's time at Cheyenne Mountain and he put us on the same team. He sent us to explore other planets where we met some very nice people and some not-so-nice people. Believe me when I say that we encountered races who wanted nothing more than to kill us or enslave us."

The six officials glanced at each other at Sam's comment.

"I would like to take you on a tour of the area I'm in charge of so you can see for yourselves the work that my staff and I do here. We will return here after the tour is finished for a question and answer session. Please come with me."

Everyone stood and Sam led the way out of the room.

Jack and General Hammond met up at the door and shook hands.

"How are you, Jack?"

"I'm okay. How are you doing?"

"Just fine."

The group followed Sam and everyone got on an elevator. No one said a word as they watched Sam place her palm on a security scanner, the elevator doors closed and they rode down several floors. When the elevator came to a stop, they stepped off and Sam led the way down a long corridor.

As they walked, Jack realized they were underground and because of the nature of the work that Sam and her staff were doing, they had been secluded away from everyone else at the Center to remain in secret. He noticed that there wasn't anyone else around and there were no doors along the corridor until they came to the very end.

Stopping in front of a large steel door, everyone watched as Sam once again pressed her palm against a scanner to allow access to the room. A red light on the scanner changed to green and the door slid open. Sam let the group enter ahead of her and after everyone was inside, she closed the door, locked it and started the tour.

Everyone looked around the large room. There were computers, test tubes, microscopes, safety goggles and lots of other lab equipment. On one wall was a large blackboard with physics equations written on it and on a table in the middle of the room were three open cylinders, similar to nuclear weapons.

Sam introduced each member of her staff and explained that person's job to the group. Having known the members of Sam's staff when they had been at the Mountain, Jack and General Hammond stopped to chat with each of them as Sam continued the tour with the officials.

After the tour was over everyone returned to the conference room.

Paul informed the group of Jack's background in the Air Force and how he came to Stargate Command.

"General O'Neill, I now turn the meeting over to you."

Paul sat down as Jack came to the podium. He told them about his first trip through the gate and some of the things that he and Sam had witnessed during the years they had worked together.

He also explained about the different SG teams and the intensive training they go through before they're allowed to travel through the stargate.

Sam found it hard to look at Jack. His hair was a little grayer and he had gained a little weight, but to her he was even more handsome now than the last time she had seen him.

When Jack finished his comments, he asked if anyone had a question. All of the officials raised their hands so Jack took the first question from a woman on his left.

For the next two hours, Jack, Sam, Paul and General Hammond answered questions about what they had just seen in Sam's lab, the stargate itself, the many kinds of races that the stargate teams encountered, the dangers that Earth could be facing and the costs to the government to produce the weapons.

Paul wrapped up the meeting by telling the three officials from Huntsville that a car was waiting outside to take them to the airport.

General Hammond leaned up from his chair and clasped his hands together on the table. "Colonel Davis, I'd like to say something."

"Go ahead, sir."

"I know that Colonel Davis mentioned this at the beginning of the meeting but I want to go over this again. All of you signed the nondisclosure agreement. You are not to discuss the meeting that was held in Washington two weeks ago nor are you allowed to discuss with anyone what we talked about or anything you saw here today. When you walk out that door, you cannot tell anyone about the stargate, not your spouses, children, family members, co-workers, friends, neighbors, strangers, not even the family pet. If the President, the Joint Chiefs and the people involved in the stargate program find out that you have breached this agreement, you will possibly spend time in prison. Do you understand the seriousness of this?"

The officials nodded their heads.

"Good. Maybe someday the world will be ready to learn about the stargate and what that entails, but for now the President and Joint Chiefs believe that it would only cause world-wide panic if everyone knew about the dangers we might be facing."

"Thank you, General Hammond, and thanks to all of you for coming" Paul said as the meeting ended and everyone began to leave the room.

Jack stood up, thinking that now would be a good time to leave quickly but General Hammond stopped him.

"Jack, it's good to see you. Glad you came."

"Didn't have much choice. This certainly wasn't how I would have preferred to spend my day."

General Hammond lowered his voice. "Because you had to see Sam?"

"Yes sir."

Sam watched Jack as he talked with General Hammond. Wanting to at least speak to Jack before he left, she came around the table and slowly walked to where the men stood.

General Hammond saw Sam coming and smiled as she came to a stop beside them.

"Sam, excellent presentation and great work you're doing here."

"Thank you, sir."

Jack turned to face Sam but he didn't change his expression. "Yes, Carter, I'm impressed."

General Hammond glanced between them as they stared at each other. "You two need to stop this nonsense and talk to each other."

Jack and Sam watched as he walked out of the room and closed the door behind him, leaving them alone.

Sam looked into Jack's eyes. "Would you like to have lunch with me?"

"I'm not hungry so I think I'll be heading out."

"Please, Jack? We can still be on speaking terms, can't we?"

Jack didn't know what to say. Just looking at Sam was pure torture.

He stuck his hands in his pockets. "I'm not sure we can" he finally said.

Jack could see the disappointment on her face.

"Okay. If you think it's best."

Jack started to walk away but suddenly turned around and Sam could see anger on his face.

"You had to tell me goodbye in a letter, Sam? You didn't have enough guts to tell me in person?"

Taken off guard for a moment, Sam stared at Jack. "I explained in my letter why I was leaving. Writing you that letter was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. When we went to your cabin, I had hoped that you would tell me if you felt anything for me but you didn't. I thought you didn't care about me. I felt that nothing was ever going to change between us, that we had missed our chance. I couldn't face you anymore and it hurt too much to be around you. You gave me no good reason to stay."

The door suddenly opened and they turned to see Paul. He came to a sudden stop when he saw that they were still in the room and could tell by their expressions that he had interrupted something.

"Excuse me. I'll just be a second." Paul hurried to get his hat and quickly closed the door behind him.

Jack looked back at Sam. "I have to go. You're doing a great job here and that really doesn't surprise me. You've always been good at everything you do."

As Jack walked away, he quickly looked back over his shoulder to see tears fill Sam's eyes.

Sam dropped her arms by her side and took three steps toward him. "Jack . . ."

They stared at each other for several seconds until Jack opened the door and fled.

Sam sat down, propped her elbows on the table, clasped her hands together and put her forehead against her hands. She knew that seeing Jack again would upset her but she had not realized how much until now.

Knowing that anyone could walk in at any minute, she blinked back tears and tried not to cry.

Jack hurried down the corridor to see his driver waiting at the door. They went outside and got in the car as it began to rain.

The driver started the car and drove away as Jack stared out the window, wishing he had not been ordered by the President to come here. Seeing Sam had broken his heart all over again.

Arriving at the airport, Jack thanked the driver, got out of the car and headed to the plane as the rain continued to fall.

 **~oOo~**

Sam sat staring at the table when she heard the door open and General Hammond came through. He closed the door and came walking toward her.

"Sam."

She quickly wiped her eyes, turned around to face him and started to stand. "Sir."

He could see that she was upset as he motioned for her to stay seated and he sat down beside her. "I saw Jack leave. Are you okay?"

Sam shook her head. "Not really, sir."

"Jack didn't want to come today but President Hayes insisted. He knew it would be hard to see you again."

Sam stared at her hands. "It wasn't easy for me either."

"Jack is still in love with you."

Sam looked into his eyes. "How do you know that?"

"I asked him not long ago and he confirmed it."

"I asked him to stay and have lunch with me but he didn't want to. I don't know why I even bothered to ask."

"Maybe because you still love him and you wanted to see if you could work things out?"

"He's mad at me for giving him a letter instead of talking to him in person."

"It really hurt him when you left and he hasn't gotten over it."

"What was I supposed to do, sir? He wouldn't give me any indication of his feelings. After my broken engagement, I was hoping things would change between us but they didn't. I felt my life was wasting away, waiting for something that was never going to happen. I couldn't work with him anymore. It hurt too much. If he really loves me, why didn't he come after me so we could work things out?"

"Did you want him to come after you?"

"At first, I didn't think so but now . . . I just knew we couldn't go on with the way things were between us. Why couldn't he have given me just a hint that he cared about me? Maybe I would have stayed."

General Hammond sighed. "I don't have any answers, Sam, but I do know that you're both unhappy. Can you take the afternoon off?"

"Yes sir."

He stood up. "Come on. Let's get out of here and go somewhere and talk. I've got some time before I have to leave."

"We can go to my place, sir, and I'll make lunch."

"That sounds good but only on one condition."

"What's that, sir?"

"You've got to start calling me by my first name."

Sam smiled. "Okay . . . George."

 **~oOo~**

Jack removed his hat, jacket and tie and put them on the seat beside him. Feeling a headache coming on, he sat down in the pilot's seat and rubbed the back of his neck.

After getting clearance from the air traffic controller, he got the plane in the air and headed home.

He was glad that he had some time to himself as he settled in for the two hour flight and thought about Sam. Seeing her again made him realize how much he had missed her and how much he still loved her.

He remembered the day they had met and she challenged him to arm wrestle.

After their meeting in the briefing room that day, he wanted to find out more about her so he had checked her personnel records. She had graduated first in her class at the Academy, earned her doctorate degree in astrophysics and had served in the Gulf War as a pilot, risking her life to save others.

He had to admit that he was impressed by her credentials but he was curious to see how she would stand up to his scrutiny if they went through the stargate together. As fate would have it, he did not have to wait long to find out.

On one of their first trips through the gate, he, Daniel and Teal'c found themselves staring at Sam as she stood before them wearing the blue Shavadai dress. Even though she had protested, he thought she looked very pretty and later when she had challenged Turghan and won, his admiration for her grew to new heights.

When they had rescued Cassie, the young girl had trusted no one but Sam and she had risked her life to save Cassie when they thought she had been implanted with a Gou'ald device to destroy Earth. He could still remember his heart thumping in his chest when they had taken Cassie to the abandoned nuclear facility and Sam had disobeyed his order to leave Cassie and return to the surface. He could have written up Sam for insubordination, but knowing she had risked her life for Cassie, and would do so again, he had not had the heart to go through with it.

When they had been rescued after nearly freezing to death in Antarctica, he lay in the infirmary with a broken leg and cracked ribs, staring at the ceiling while trying to convince himself that he was not going to fall in love with Sam.

He would never forget when the alternate Sam and Kawalski had come through the quantum mirror and he learned that Sam and her Jack were married in her reality. She had been so upset over watching her husband die, that when he held her in his arms as she cried, he couldn't help but wonder if holding the Sam in his reality would feel this good. After Sam watched him kiss alternate Sam goodbye, it was several days before they could look at each other again.

Then came those three months when he was stranded on Edora and had finally been rescued. His team had been so glad to see him but as they made their way back to the stargate, Sam had clammed up and wouldn't look at him. When they arrived back on Earth, Daniel and Janet had told him that Sam had worked so hard to bring him home that she had put her health in jeopardy. He had tried to thank her but it had taken them several weeks to get back into a cordial working relationship.

The day came when he sat in front of Anise, as Sam, Janet and Teal'c watched, and he admitted that he cared more about Sam than he did himself. Trying to lock his feelings away that day had been one of the hardest things he had ever done.

He replayed all the good times and the bad times they had spent together but the one time he thought he might have finally lost her was when she had been stranded on the Prometheus. He had slept very little the whole time that Sam had been missing and had gone on every rescue mission that Hammond had authorized. Just before Sam returned, Teal'c stood behind him in the locker room, telling him that Sam had a similar reaction to his disappearance when he had been stranded with Maybourne on the planet's moon.

He took a deep breath as he remembered one of the worst days of his life was when Sam started to hum as they rode the elevator together and she admitted that she had been set up on a date with Pete. After getting off the elevator, he hurried to his office, closed the door, sat down in his chair and stared at the wall. He had tried to be happy for her but he had never told anyone how much it had hurt when she and Pete got engaged.

Time after countless time, he and Sam had saved each other's lives and he admired her for so many reasons. She had a brilliant intellect and was an amazing woman, friend, astrophysicist, soldier and confidant.

He thought about the last time he had seen her before she had left for Houston. He had watched her drive out of his life that day when he had parked close to her house.

He now had to admit to himself that he could not blame Sam for leaving because as she had told him just today "you gave me no good reason to stay."

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he finally realized that General Hammond was right. It was his own fault that he and Sam were not together. She had given him a chance to change their situation when she had been at his cabin but he had done nothing. After she had given him her letter, he should have gone to see her and asked her forgiveness. He had wasted these last two years being stubborn and prideful, two whole years when he could have had this intelligent, kind and beautiful woman to share his life.

He knew he had to rectify the situation. He wanted to turn the plane around and head back to Houston but he was almost home and there wasn't enough fuel in the plane for a return flight.

As soon as he landed, he would call Sam and apologize and hopefully she would not hang up on him. If she did, he would return to Houston anyway. He had to make her understand that he loved her, needed her and wanted her with him. He had to make her understand just how empty his life had been without her. Even if it meant he had to retire and move to Houston so they could be together, it would be one of the wisest decisions he had ever made.

As he came closer to Colorado Springs, the rain splashed against the windows and lightning flashed around him as the pain increased in his head.

After talking with the air traffic controller and getting clearance to land, the plane touched down.

Suddenly feeling very weak and dizzy, the plane slid down the runway, veered off into the grass and slammed into a metal fence.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Sirens blared as rescue vehicles hurried to Jack's plane in the pouring rain.

Two members of an emergency response team entered the cockpit and found Jack disoriented and he was having trouble speaking.

After getting Jack into an ambulance, the driver notified the nearest hospital to let them know they were in route. A medical team was waiting when they arrived and quickly rushed Jack inside. A doctor ordered a CT scan, blood tests and an MRI.

The test results showed that there was a blood clot in the right frontal lobe of Jack's brain.

"Let's get him into surgery" a neurosurgeon ordered the team.

 **~oOo~**

Sam made sandwiches as George stood at the door that led out to a balcony, overlooking a flower garden below.

"Nice view you have here, Sam."

"Yes it is."

George turned around to face her. "Think you might buy another house eventually?"

"No. I spend too much time at work to take care of a house. This is enough space for me right now."

They sat down to eat and Sam took a sip of Diet Coke as George took a bite of his sandwich.

Sam clasped her hands in her lap. "I'm not sure I want to know this but I'm going to ask anyway."

"Okay."

"Do you know if Jack is seeing anyone?"

"I don't know for sure but I don't think so. He's too busy at the Mountain and as I told you before, he still loves you."

"I thought leaving Colorado was best for both of us but after all this time, I still miss him. If he'd open up and tell me what he's feeling maybe we could work this out."

"I urged him to talk to you but getting Jack to discuss his feelings is like pulling teeth."

George paused for a moment. "Jacob wanted you and Jack together. Did he ever tell you that?"

"Just before he died. He had known for a long time how we felt about each other, or how I felt about Jack."

After lunch, they sat on her balcony as they talked about the meeting they'd had with the NASA officials and what was going on with George's job in Washington.

George's cell phone rang so he got it out of his pocket and answered.

"Hammond."

George looked at Sam and smiled. "Hi, Dr. Jackson."

Sam watched as the smile quickly faded and George's eyes grew wide. "Oh no."

George listened several moments longer. "You don't need to call Sam. I'm with her now in Houston. We'll be there as soon as we can. Bye."

Sam set up in her chair. "What's wrong?"

"Dr. Jackson called me from his car. He's on his way to Memorial Hospital. Jack had a stroke and they just took him to surgery. Jack piloted a plane to Houston and just as he returned home, the stroke happened as he landed on the runway. The staff at the hospital found a piece of paper in Jack's wallet with Dr. Jackson's name as an emergency contact so they got in touch with him. Go pack a bag. I'll make a call and get us a plane."

Tears filled Sam's eyes as she hurried to her bedroom. As she quickly packed a suitcase, she realized her hands were shaking. Putting her hands to her chest, she took several deep breaths and tried not to cry.

Upon their arrival in Colorado, George and Sam hurried through the airport and were met by Teal'c.

"Is there any word yet on Jack?" George asked as they headed to Teal'c's vehicle.

"I spoke with Daniel Jackson a few minutes ago and he informed me that O'Neill is still in surgery."

Arriving at the hospital, they hurried inside.

Getting off an elevator, they could see Daniel in the waiting room and Sam rushed to him.

Daniel looked up to see them coming and he stood up to give Sam a hug. "I'm glad you're here."

"How is he?"

"No word yet."

 **~oOo~**

The four friends sat talking when Sam suddenly stood and looked out a window.

Daniel watched Sam while wishing there was something he could say to make her feel better. He knew that Jack had missed Sam since she had been gone but Jack had told him, just after she had left for Houston that he didn't care to discuss their situation any more so the subject of Sam had been totally off limits.

He walked over to Sam and put his hand on her shoulder. She jumped slightly to his touch and as she turned to face him, he could see tears in her eyes. Daniel took her hands in his.

"He can't die" she whispered.

"We have to think positive that he will be okay. Did you talk with Jack when you saw him today?"

"I asked him to have lunch with me but he refused and hurriedly left. I don't think he wants anything to do with me."

"Even though he won't admit it, I know that Jack has missed you and he still loves you."

"Why can't we work this out? Why does this have to be so hard? Thinking that things were never going to change between us, I just felt I couldn't stay in Colorado. Did I make a mistake when I moved to Houston?"

"I don't know what to tell you. When you first left, I tried to do as you asked and advised Jack to leave you alone and not go after you, but now I'm not so sure that was the right thing to do."

They saw a doctor approaching, dressed in green scrubs.

"Are you the family of General O'Neill?"

"We're his friends. He doesn't have any immediate family" Daniel answered as George and Teal'c came to join them.

"I'm Dr. Swenson. General O'Neill had what we call a thrombotic stroke. This type of stroke occurs when a clot forms in a blood vessel in the brain. General O'Neill's occurred on his right side where speech and memory are regulated and there may be paralysis on his left side. We were told by the paramedics that when they found General O'Neill, he was having trouble speaking and was disoriented and he lost consciousness in the ambulance. Until he wakes up, we don't know how much damage the stroke has caused. Any questions?"

"When should he wake up?" George asked.

The doctor shook his head. "Could be hours, could be days or weeks. Each person is different."

"When can we see him?" Sam asked.

"You can see him now."

Feeling that Sam might like a moment alone with Jack, Daniel suggested that she go first.

Sam followed the doctor to Jack's room and he stopped just outside the door. "It's important that you talk to him. If he can hear you, he needs to know that he isn't alone."

The doctor turned to leave and Sam pushed open the door. Walking up beside Jack's bed, she stared at his face. She pulled up a chair and sat down beside him. Gently taking his hand in hers, she stared at the bandage around his head, knowing they had shaved his head for the surgery and she remembered how much she had always loved his gray hair. Her eyes filled with tears and she stared at his face as she spoke softly. "I don't know if you can hear me, Jack, but if you can, please know that I'm here and I'm not going to leave you."

She looked down at Jack's hand and gently rubbed her fingers over the top as tears ran down her cheeks. She had always loved his hands; these hands that could fire a P-90 with great precision or speak expressively when he talked; these hands that she had dreamed of touching her as he made love to her.

She sat in the chair for several minutes, wanting nothing more than to sit beside Jack until he awoke but she knew that her friends would like to see him too. Reluctantly releasing his hand, she stood up and walked to the door, glancing back before turning to leave.

Quickly wiping away the tears, she returned to the waiting room to see Teal'c, Daniel and George sitting silently, each lost in his own thoughts.

Sam sat down beside George and he could see that she had been crying. He placed his hand on top of hers and gently squeezed. "Jack will be okay. He's tough, you know. He's a fighter."

Sam nodded her head. "Yes, he is."

George offered to have Sam spend the night at his house but she wanted to stay with Jack and Daniel did not want to leave her alone.

After Teal'c and George had left for the night, Sam and Daniel stood beside Jack's bed. Daniel glanced at Sam and he could see how scared she was so he put his arm around her waist.

"The doctor said this affects his memory, Daniel. What if he doesn't remember me or what if he does but he doesn't want me here and he can't speak to tell me?"

"We don't know how he'll react. Right now, Jack needs to know we're here for him and that we'll always be here for him, whether he has his memory or not or whether he can speak or not. He would do the same for us."

"If he comes out of this, I'm going to tell him I love him. He may not want to hear it but I need to say it."

"Yes, you do. Something has got to change between you two. You can't go on being miserable like this. You love each other and you should be together."

Daniel took her hand and they sat down. "What about the healing device? Maybe it would help."

Sam shook her head. "The last time I used it was when I tried to heal you when you had the lethal dose of radiation. I only made things worse and almost killed you so I'm not about to use it on Jack. Besides, it has been years since I was infected. I would think that the effects have worn off by now."

"The Tok'ra might help but we haven't been in touch with them since your Dad died and although Vala knows how to use a healing device, we haven't heard from her in a long time either."

"I thought that you and Vala might end up together."

"No. I'm very fond of Vala but I'm not sure I could ever really love her. We're too different. She's adventurous and I get very involved in my work. In the long run, I think she would get bored with me."

 **~oOo~**

They stayed up talking into the evening in Jack's room. Knowing they needed to get some sleep, they went into the waiting room and Daniel lay down on a sofa and Sam lay down on one across from him.

Daniel awoke in the early morning light. As he set up, he noticed that Sam wasn't there.

He hurried to Jack's room and went inside. Sam sat on a chair beside Jack with her arms folded on the side of the bed, head resting on her arms, her hand holding Jack's. He could tell by her breathing that she was sleeping. She had probably not left his side all night.

He sat down and watched his friends. Although he and Sha're had loved each other deeply, never in his life had he known two people as much in love as Jack and Sam. From the beginning as they had worked together as SG-1, he had noticed the attraction between them. Just like now, so many times he had seen them sit beside each other when the other was injured and in the base infirmary.

On far away planets, he would awaken during the night and hear them talking as they sat together beside a camp fire and sometimes he would hear Sam laugh at something Jack had said. There, so far from Earth, they could let down their guard for a while and enjoy each other's company before having to return to their Air Force ranks and responsibilities.

He remembered that Jack had tried to hide his hurt and disappointment when Sam had gotten engaged to Pete and he had seemed to come alive again when she had broken the engagement.

When they had been at Jack's cabin, he and Teal'c had purposely left them alone a few times so they would have a chance to talk. It had surprised him and Teal'c that their relationship had gone no further after they had returned home and suddenly Sam was leaving. Although he had understood why she felt she needed to get away and tried to respect her wishes, he had since questioned himself that he had done the right thing and maybe he should have urged Jack to go see her after all.

He had witnessed how Jack changed after Sam left. Gone was the sparkle in his eyes and he would often find him in his office, staring at his desk with a faraway expression on his face. They never discussed Sam but knowing Jack better than anyone, he knew that Jack was hurting.

Putting his elbow on the arm of the chair, he rubbed his forehead as thoughts ran through his mind of what this would do to Sam if Jack did not recover.

Sam awakened and she set up slowly but she did not let go of Jack's hand.

He stood up and walked to where she sat.

"Have you been here all night?"

"Yes. I tried to sleep but I couldn't so I came back in here. I didn't want Jack to be alone if he woke up."

At that moment, a nurse entered the room to take Jack's vital signs.

"How is he?" Daniel asked after she had finished.

"He's stable" she answered as she left.

"Sam, you need to eat. Do you want me to go with you to the cafeteria or I can stay with Jack while you go have breakfast."

Sam quickly thought it over. "One of us should be here so I'll go eat and come right back."

"Okay."

After Sam returned, Daniel headed to the cafeteria. After he got his food, he noticed Dr. Swenson sitting by himself, reading a newspaper, so he walked over to where he sat.

"Good morning."

Dr. Swenson looked up. "Good morning."

"Mind if I join you?"

Dr. Swenson put the paper aside. "Not at all."

Daniel sat down and took a sip of coffee. "Could I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What's your opinion about Jack? Do you think he'll be okay?"

"I really don't know. I've had patients wake up a few days after they've had a stroke and make a complete recovery. Some people don't wake up for weeks or months and some die without ever waking up. The longer a patient waits before seeing a doctor, the worse the outcome is but the paramedics got him to the hospital quickly and we got him into surgery so I'm hopeful that he will come out of this. We also have to take into consideration a patient's age and general health or if they have anything else wrong with them. General O'Neill's health is good so that will make a difference in his recovery. Are you close friends?"

"Yes, we've been best friends for several years."

When Daniel returned, he saw Teal'c, Sam and George in the waiting room and overheard Sam ask George if she could take a leave of absence from her job to stay with Jack.

"I'm sure that can be arranged. I'll take care of it for you."

"Thank you, sir."

George glanced at his friends. "Well, I hate to say this but I have to get back to Washington. I really don't like leaving Jack but I know the three of you will take good care of him."

"Is Colonel Reynolds taking over for O'Neill?" Teal'c asked.

"Yes, for the foreseeable future. Keep me informed of Jack's condition."

"We will, sir" Daniel answered.

Teal'c volunteered to stay with Jack that night so Sam could go home with Daniel to get some rest.

On the ride to Daniel's house, he glanced at Sam as she stared out the window and he could see the worry and fatigue on her face.

As they entered his house, Sam suddenly began to cry. Putting his arm around her, he sat down with her on the sofa.

"What if Jack stays like this, Daniel? What if he doesn't wake up? You know how independent he is, he would not want to live this way."

"No he wouldn't but we have to be patient and give him time to heal."

Sam wiped her eyes. "I just have so many regrets about us. I wish we'd been together years ago."

Daniel squeezed her hand. "When Jack wakes up, you'll work this out."

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Sam, Daniel and Teal'c continued to take turns staying with Jack.

A week after his surgery, Dr. Swenson ordered an MRI and met with them to give them the test results.

"There is more activity in the area of the brain where the stroke occurred and his vital signs are continuing to be stable so I'm hopeful that General O'Neill will come out of this, but we won't know how much the stroke has affected his speech and memory until he wakes up."

 **~oOo~**

Three days later, Sam had spent the night at Daniel's house while Teal'c stayed with Jack.

While sitting at the table having breakfast, they got a call from Teal'c, telling them that Jack was awake.

They arrived at the hospital and hurried to Jack's room to find Teal'c standing in the hallway.

"What's going on?" Daniel asked.

"The doctor asked me to wait here while he gives O'Neill an examination."

"You were with him when he woke up?" Sam asked.

"Yes. When he opened his eyes, I asked if he could speak but he did not answer so I went for help and Dr. Swenson arrived a few moments later."

They lingered outside Jack's room and Daniel could see that Sam was getting impatient.

Dr. Swenson finally came out the door.

"General O'Neill could comprehend what I said to him but he's having trouble expressing himself and his speech is slurred. He may feel embarrassed that he can't speak clearly. Just so you'll know, sometimes a person's personality changes after they've had a stroke. Some people are more aggressive, some get angry quicker, others get quieter and others get more emotional. He may ask you the same question over and over and he may think that events that actually happened years ago happened just recently. He does have some paralysis on his left side but with physical therapy, I'm hopeful that will improve but to what extent, I'm not sure. Don't let it upset you if he doesn't know you or it may be that he'll recognize you but can't remember your names. I'll check back later."

As Dr. Swenson walked away, Sam opened the door and they went inside.

The head of Jack's bed was raised and he was staring out the window. He turned to face them.

Daniel and Teal'c stood at the foot of the bed and Sam stood beside him. Jack stared first at Teal'c for a few seconds and then at Daniel. His eyes moved to Sam and did not leave her face.

Sam placed her hand on top of his. Jack glanced down at their hands and looked back up at her.

"Do you know who we are?" she asked.

Jack took a long moment to answer. "I . . . think . . . so."

"We're your friends, Jack" Daniel said. "We've all been close friends for many years."

Jack sighed. "I'm . . . tired."

Sam gently smiled. "Maybe it would be best if we let you rest then."

Sam started to let go of Jack's hand but he held on tightly and looked into her eyes. "You . . . keep . . . here."

"Keep here? You want me to stay here?"

Jack nodded.

"Okay."

Daniel thought it might be best to leave them alone for a while. "We'll go and come back later."

As they walked out into the hallway, Daniel grinned. "Jack may not remember us yet but he does remember the woman he loves."

Teal'c smiled. "Indeed."

"Do you need anything?" Sam asked.

Jack glanced at the table beside him. "Wat . . ."

"Water? I'll get you some water."

Jack refused to let go of Sam's hand so she picked up a pitcher of water with her other hand, poured some into a cup and handed it to him.

Jack released her hand long enough to drink the water and handed the cup back to her. As soon as she set it down, he reached for her hand again.

"Do you want more?"

Jack shook his head.

Sam started to let go of his hand but he held on tighter.

"I just want to get a chair. I'm not leaving."

Jack let go of her hand again and as Sam pulled up a chair and sat down beside him, she put her hand back in his.

"Do you know my name?"

Jack looked at her for several seconds. "Sam."

"That's right."

"You're . . . pretty."

Sam smiled. "Thank you."

He continued to stare.

"Do you like to hold my hand?"

Jack nodded.

"I like holding yours too. Do you remember the names of the two men that were just here?"

Jack glanced around the room for a few seconds and looked into her eyes. "Daniel and . . . Teal'c."

Sam squeezed his hand. "That's right."

Jack frowned. "What . . . wrong . . . with me?"

"Did the doctor not tell you?"

"Don't . . . 'member."

"You had a stroke. You had a blood clot in your brain and had surgery. The stroke affected your speech and memory and your left side has some paralysis."

Tears filled Jack's eyes and started down his face. There had been very few times that Sam had seen him cry, but remembered that Dr. Swenson had told them that stroke patients could be more emotional.

Sam stood up and reached for a tissue on the bedside table. Jack took a deep breath as she sat down on the side of the bed and gently wiped his face. "You'll be okay, Jack. You have me and Daniel and Teal'c to help you get through this. I'll be right here with you every step of the way. I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

Sam sat back down in the chair as Jack closed his eyes. Putting her elbows on the side of the bed, she rested her chin on their hands and stared at his face as she tried not to cry.

 **~oOo~**

Daniel and Teal'c returned the next morning just as Dr. Swenson was talking with Jack and Sam.

"General, lying in bed all day is not good for you so I want you to start physical therapy. It will make your muscles stronger on your left side and will move your recovery along more quickly."

On Jack's third day of therapy, Sam leaned against the wall in the physical therapy room and watched Susan, Jack's therapist, work with him to do his exercises.

Susan smiled. "You're doing well, Mr. O'Neill."

Jack glanced at Sam and she nodded her head and smiled in encouragement.

"Will you . . . have me doin' . . . cartwheels . . . in a . . . few days?"

Susan smiled. "Well, not in a few days, I'm afraid."

Jack grinned slightly. "That . . . that would be . . . somethin' cause I . . . couldn't do 'em . . . in the . . . first . . . place."

Susan looked at Sam and the women chuckled.

"Good to see that the stroke didn't affect your sense of humor, Jack" Sam mumbled to herself.

After the therapy session was over, Susan helped Jack into his wheelchair and Sam took him back to his room. She helped him into bed and sat down beside him.

"Susan is a good therapist. She really makes you work."

"Sort of . . . like . . ."

Sam waited for Jack to finish his thought.

"Doc . . . Frasier."

Sam grinned. "She looks a little like Janet and she's tough on you like Janet was."

"Sam?"

"Yes?"

"Are you . . . tired?"

"Am I tired of staying here with you?"

Jack nodded.

"No, Jack. I'll be here for as long as you want me to be."

Jack smiled.

 **~oOo~**

Sam had gone to Daniel's house to get some rest while Daniel stayed with Jack.

Late that afternoon, Daniel sat beside Jack's bed, watching an archeology program on the National Geographic channel, when he happened to glance at Jack as he stared into space.

Daniel leaned up from the chair. "Are you all right?"

Jack slowly turned his head. "Who is . . . Charlie?"

Standing up from his chair, Daniel sat down beside Jack on the bed.

"Charlie was your son. He died several years ago."

Jack stared at Daniel. "He was . . . a . . . little boy."

"That's right. He died when he was just a boy."

"My . . . fault."

Daniel shook his head. "No, Jack, it wasn't your fault. It was an accident."

Tears moistened Jack's eyes. "Sara . . . left me."

"Yes, you divorced not long after Charlie died."

Daniel sat back in the chair as Jack put his head against the pillow and slept.

 **~oOo~**

Early the next morning, Sam returned to the hospital and was told by one of the nurses that Daniel had taken Jack outside.

Coming through the doors to the outside courtyard, Sam saw Daniel sitting on a bench and Jack was beside him in a wheelchair.

When Jack saw Sam coming, he smiled.

Daniel grinned at how Jack perked up whenever Sam was around.

"Hey guys."

Daniel moved over on the bench so Sam could sit beside him. "Hi Sam."

"You two enjoying the sunshine?"

"Better . . . than being . . . being . . . inside . . . all . . . the time" Jack answered.

Sam glanced around. "It's a beautiful today. Not a cloud in the sky."

Jack looked up. "I . . . like it."

Sam smiled. "We'll just have to bring you out here more often to enjoy the warm weather."

They sat talking for a while but Daniel and Sam could see that Jack was getting tired so they took him back inside and helped him into bed. A few minutes later, Jack was asleep.

Daniel held out his hand to Sam. "Let's go get some breakfast and we'll come right back."

On their way to the cafeteria they ran into Dr. Swenson and Sam stopped him.

"Is it normal for Jack to sleep so much?"

"Yes. Part of it is the medicine we're giving him. When we take him off of it and as he gets stronger with physical therapy, his sleep patterns should return to normal. It just takes some time."

As they sat at a table in the cafeteria, Daniel took a sip of coffee and set down the cup. "How long are you planning to take off work?"

"I've accumulated quite a lot of time with the Air Force so as long as Jack wants me here I'll be here. I'm not leaving him."

Daniel squeezed Sam's hand. "You really love him, don't you?"

Tears filled her eyes and she found it hard to speak. "I cannot begin to describe the depth of my feelings for Jack."

Daniel smiled. "I'm very certain he feels the same way about you."

 **~oOo~**

Sam sat beside Jack and held his hand as he slept. Her eyes were on the television but she wasn't really paying attention to the program. She yawned as she glanced at her watch. It was getting late.

She stared at their hands, thinking of the numerous times she had wanted to hold Jack's hand as he lay injured in the base infirmary but because of the regulations, it had not been allowed.

Looking at Jack, she couldn't stop the tears that filled her eyes as the memories came. From the moment she had met Jack, she was attracted to him.

The friendship, trust and respect between them had grown stronger the longer they worked together and Jack had become such an integral part of who she was, she could not imagine her life without him. But thinking they could not be together she had gotten engaged to Pete. As the wedding date approached, she realized that Pete was not the man she really loved and wanted to spend the rest of her life with so she called it off.

Hoping she could still work things out with Jack, she had gone with him to his cabin but he had made no effort to tell her how he felt about her. Thinking that Jack had given up on them, she thought it was best to leave Colorado so she had given him the letter and moved to Houston. But leaving had solved nothing.

Even though she didn't see Jack any more, she thought about him and missed him every single day and he was the last person on her mind before she went to sleep at night.

She had tried to stop loving him but she could not. Never in her life had she loved another man so deeply and she could not imagine loving anyone else.

She would never have thought that she would be sitting beside Jack under these circumstances as he lay in a hospital bed after having a stroke. It made her heart ache to see him in this condition.

Jack had always been such a vibrant man and a force to be reckoned with. Jack was afraid of no one. Whenever he was angry, he let you know it. She had seen him walk up to airmen, crooked politicians, high ranking government officials and so-called "gods" and without saying a word, Jack would stare into their eyes without blinking until they backed down. There had been a few times when she had experienced that stare when they had a difference of opinion but it was rare. He could be stubborn and impatient but when he allowed you into his life, he would do everything in his power to protect or defend you.

She admired Jack for so many reasons: loyalty to his friends, his perseverance, his intelligence, his integrity, his leadership abilities, service to his country, his sense of humor, and his kind and generous nature.

And then there were his brown eyes, gray hair, dimpled cheeks and beautiful smile. Whether he was in dress blues or a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, there was no other man as handsome and as sexy as Major General Jack O'Neill.

Over the years, she had witnessed numerous women stare at Jack or flirt with him and most of the time he seemed to be totally oblivious of their interest in him.

She had told herself that she must be strong for him and not let him see how upsetting this was for her but she couldn't hold back the tears. She laid her head on the bed and began to cry. She stayed in that position for a few minutes but feeling that Jack might wake up and see that she was upset, she let go of his hand and went into the bathroom. Closing the door and leaning against it, she let the tears come. This had been the most stressful time of her life, knowing that Jack could have died and knew that he still had a long recovery ahead of him. He had occupied her heart for a very long time and knew that was never going to change. According to Daniel and General Hammond, Jack had not stopped loving her either. She was now more determined to help Jack get better and when he did, they were going to get this situation resolved and hopefully put the past behind them.

After several minutes, she wiped the tears away, splashed cold water on her face and composed herself.

She came back in the room and sat back down. Putting her arms on the bed, she laid her head on her arms, linked her fingers with Jack's and tried to sleep.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

A few days later, Jack was moved to a rehabilitation center next to the hospital.

Daniel had gone by Jack's house, gathered some of his clothes and brought them to him.

Jack told Sam, Daniel and Teal'c that they didn't need to spend the night with him any longer and they could see that he was getting better. He didn't get tired as easily and when he spoke, his words weren't slurred as much as they had been.

Two weeks later, Dr. Swenson had just arrived to talk with Jack and had been about to explain to him the results of his latest MRI when Sam, Daniel and Teal'c came to visit.

Dr. Swenson sat down on the bed beside Jack. "The MRI shows that the area of your brain that processes memories and words quickly is getting better but the part that processes speech is about the same. In other words, you know what you want to say but getting the words out is difficult. Does that make sense?"

"You mean . . . I can't speak . . . as fast as . . . I used to?" Jack asked.

Dr. Swenson nodded his head. "That's exactly right and I'm going to be honest with you, General, you may be like this for the rest of your life or it could improve. I just don't know."

"What about . . . my left side?"

"Physical therapy is helping and I think you'll get back full use of your arm but since you were having problems with your knees before the stroke, your left side will always be weaker than your right but using a cane will help."

That afternoon after Sam, Daniel and Teal'c had left, Jack placed a call to George and told him that he wanted to retire.

A few days later, George found Jack sitting outside in the sunshine and they shook hands as George sat down beside him. George was holding a folder in his hands.

"I've been getting updates about you from Sam and Dr. Jackson. It's good to see for myself that you're doing so well."

"Thanks."

"I brought your resignation and retirement papers that I need you to sign so I can give them to the President and Joint Chiefs. I'm sorry your career has to end this way, Jack."

"Me too but . . . I can't do my job . . . anymore. Reynolds should . . . take over."

"I'll push the paperwork through to get him promoted and to take your place. So, what about you? What are you going to do?"

"I'm going . . . home."

"To Minnesota?"

"Yes."

"Have you told Sam, Daniel and Teal'c?"

"No. I can . . . take care of myself. They need . . . to get on . . . with their lives . . . instead of . . . babysitting me."

"What about Sam?"

"What . . . about her?"

"Jack, why do you think Sam has been here with you all this time? She took a leave of absence from her job just to stay with you. Does that not tell you something?"

"It tells me . . . that she needs . . . to get a . . . life . . . without me."

"I'm certain that she would disagree. She loves you."

Jack looked down at the ground. "She doesn't . . . need to be . . . stuck with me. It's best . . . this way."

 **~oOo~**

Sam watched Susan work with Jack to do his exercises and she could see that he was pushing himself to get stronger and it was paying off. He had gained back some of the weight he had lost when he had been in the hospital and he wasn't as pale as he had been. His hair was growing back and the scar on his head wasn't as visible.

After he and Sam had eaten dinner together and she had left to stay with Daniel, he lay in bed and remembered the flight home from Houston, and that he had intended to call Sam and tell her he loved her and wanted to give them another chance.

He turned over on his side as tears stung his eyes. He didn't want Sam to be tied down with him since he felt he would never be well again. He felt that she deserved more than he could give her. She needed to find someone else, someone that she wouldn't feel sorry for. Someone she could marry and grow old with . . . someone that wasn't him.

 **~oOo~**

A few days later, Dr. Swenson sat across from Jack in his room.

"You're doing really well, General. Physical therapy has helped."

"When can I . . . go home?"

"I'll dismiss you today but I want you to keep exercising. Walking will help strengthen your leg. I'll sign the dismissal papers and have a nurse bring them to you. Can your friends take you home and stay with you for a few days?"

"Yes. I'll . . . call them" Jack lied.

After Dr. Swenson left the room, Jack called Daniel and told him that he was tired and was going to bed early so he didn't need them to come by and check on him. Daniel said that he would pass the message along to Sam and Teal'c.

After Jack packed his suitcase, he watched television as he waited for the nurse to bring his dismissal papers. Almost an hour later, she finally showed up. Jack told her that he would stay in his room until his friends came.

After the nurse left, Jack got a phone book out of the drawer of the bedside table and phoned for a taxi to come get him. He sat on the bed for a few minutes to give the taxi enough time to arrive.

Picking up his suitcase in one hand and his cane in the other, he went to the door and glanced up and down the hallway, hoping he wouldn't run into someone who would question where he was going by himself. Walking as fast as he could, he pushed open the front door and came outside. Just as he started toward a bench to wait for the taxi, he heard a very familiar voice.

"Going somewhere, Jack?"

Jack turned around to see Daniel leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

Jack sat down on the bench and Daniel sat down beside him.

"I knew you'd do this. After you called I drove here and waited for you to try to sneak out. You shouldn't be alone yet."

"Dr. Swenson . . . says I'm okay and he . . . dismissed me . . . I'm . . . going to my cabin."

"So, you're going to walk four miles to your house, pack all your things by yourself and drive to Minnesota?"

Jack ignored the question as a taxi drove up in front of the building.

"There's . . . my ride."

Jack pushed himself up from the bench and grabbed his cane as Daniel stood up.

"Jack, you can't do this!"

Jack turned quickly and Daniel could see the anger in his eyes. "I'm a . . . grown man, Daniel! I can . . . do whatever . . . I please so . . . leave me alone!"

Jack headed to the taxi but Daniel came toward him. "Jack, what about Sam?"

Jack stopped abruptly, turned around and glared at Daniel. "She deserves . . . better! She's better off . . . without me! She should . . . go back to Houston."

Before Daniel could react, Jack opened the taxi door, threw his suitcase on the seat and got inside.

Daniel sighed as he watched the taxi drive away.

 **~oOo~**

Daniel came up the front steps of his house and stopped. He dreaded having to break the news to Sam.

Opening the door, he came into the house and heard her in the kitchen.

Sam smiled as Daniel came into the room. "Hi."

Daniel didn't say anything so Sam turned to face him. "What's wrong?"

Daniel pulled out a chair and sat down at the table. "You know when I told you this afternoon that Jack didn't want us to come see him because he was going to bed early?"

Sam sat down across from Daniel. "Yes."

"Dr. Swenson dismissed him today. I had a feeling that was why he didn't want us to come by to visit. I knew he'd probably try to sneak out without telling us."

"Why would he do that?"

"Because he didn't want you to know that he's going to his cabin."

Sam's eyes grew wide. "He's not well enough yet to be by himself."

"That's what I thought, so I went to the rehab center and waited outside just to see if he would try to sneak out and he did. I tried to tell him he shouldn't be by himself just yet but he said he's a grown man and he can do as he pleases. I asked him 'what about Sam' and he . . ."

"He what, Daniel?"

"He said that you deserve better and you should go back to Houston."

Sam sat back in the chair as tears filled her eyes.

Daniel put his hand on Sam's. "He's still trying to adjust to having the stroke and he knows his health isn't going to be as good as it was before it happened. Let's give him a little time to adjust."

Sam wiped her eyes. "Time is something that Jack and I have wasted too much of already."

"I know but let's let him come to terms with this. We've been with him every day since he's been in the hospital. Let's give him some breathing room for just a little while."

"I'll give him one week and then I'm going to see him whether he wants me to or not. We have to settle this once and for all."

"I agree."

Three days later, Daniel, Sam nor Teal'c had heard from Jack so wanting to see if he was okay, or if he had already left for Minnesota, Daniel came by his house and drove up the driveway. Jack's truck was gone. What surprised him most was that there was a "For Sale" sign in the front yard. Getting out of his car, he walked around to the back. He climbed the steps to the deck and looked around, remembering the good times that he, Sam and Teal'c had spent here with Jack. The two chairs that were usually on the deck were missing and the picnic table and benches were covered with heavy plastic. The grill had recently been cleaned and the curtains inside the house were closed.

He pulled his phone from his pocket and pressed Jack's number.

The phone began to ring and Jack finally answered. "What?"

"Hi Jack."

"Daniel."

"I'm here in the back yard of your house. You certainly put it on the market quickly."

"Why . . . shouldn't I? I'm not . . . going back."

"I just wanted to check and see if you're okay."

"I'm fine."

"Okay, but please do me one favor."

"What?"

"If you need us, forget your pride for once, and let me, Sam or Teal'c know. We care about you and we just want to be sure you're all right. There's no need for you to cut us out of your life completely."

Jack didn't say anything for a minute. "Okay. Thanks for . . . for everything . . . you did for me . . . for all . . . your help."

"You're welcome, Jack. Please stay in touch."

"Okay . . . bye."

 **~oOo~**

It was now four days later.

When Daniel returned home that evening, he came into the house and looked around.

"Sam."

"In here" she called from the bedroom.

Daniel came into the room to see her packing a suitcase.

"Are you leaving?"

"I'm going to see Jack" she answered as she folded a sweater and laid it in the suitcase.

"I thought you were going to give him a week."

Sam stopped and looked at him. "Four days, seven days, what does it matter? I'm not going to wait any longer."

Daniel grinned. "Atta girl! Go get him!"

Sam closed her suitcase. "I plan to do just that. And if he thinks he's going to push me away or run me off, he's got another thing coming. We're going to finally resolve this, Daniel, one way or another."

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Sam drove up the dirt road, remembering the last time she had been here. After breaking her engagement, she had hoped that she and Jack would finally discuss their relationship but he had made no attempt to talk with her so she had given him the letter and moved to Houston.

Driving around a curve, the morning sun blinded her so she quickly put down the sun visor. Coming closer to the cabin the trees shielded the sun so she raised the visor back up and could see Jack sitting on the front porch.

He stared at her as she approached.

She parked the car and as she got out, Jack pushed himself up with his cane and didn't take his eyes off her as she walked toward him.

"Don't . . . want . . . you . . . here!" he yelled as he turned and went into the house and slammed the door.

Sam walked up on the porch, opened the door and came inside. "That's too bad because I'm staying!"

"Get out!"

Sam closed the door and stepped closer. "No!"

"This is . . . my house and you're . . . not . . . welcome here!"

"I'm not leaving, Jack, until we talk and get this situation straightened out between us. Avoiding each other has gone on long enough."

They stared at each other for several seconds until Jack sat down on the sofa and Sam sat down beside him.

"Did you really think that moving here would discourage me from coming to see you? Did you think that I'd never want to see you again? Did you think I'd just forget about you and leave you alone?"

"I don't . . . I don't want you . . . feeling sorry for me. I don't need your . . . pity."

"Pity is not the reason I'm here. Far from it."

Sam moved closer. "Jack."

He turned his head and looked into her eyes.

"I love you, Jack O'Neill, and I'm not going to leave you so don't you dare try to send me away. I've been in love with you for a very long time. Having a stroke did not make me stop loving you and I can assure you that it won't. You and I have wasted far too many years already and I am not going to waste another day."

"I can't . . . speak . . . as fast as I used to and . . . I can't . . . walk . . . like I . . . used to. I'll . . . embarrass you. You should forget . . . about me."

"I wouldn't be here if you were an embarrassment to me. Do you think I would have stayed with you all those weeks that you were in the hospital and rehab if you were embarrassing me? Do you think I'd have come all this way to see you if I wanted to forget you? I'm tired of running, Jack. Running away to Houston did not make me stop loving you. I had hoped it would but it didn't. It just made me miss you even more and I know my feelings for you are never going to change. I want us to be together. Can't you get that through your head?"

"My head . . . isn't . . . what it used to be."

"I know that but I don't care."

Sam put her hand on Jack's chest. "Here in your heart, you're still the same man I fell in love with. It doesn't matter to me if you move slower and talk slower. When you really love someone you love them during the bad times and the good and we've seen our share of bad times. Are you afraid that I'll grow tired of you and leave?"

Jack took a deep breath as he glanced away. "Yes."

"Do you love me?"

He looked into her eyes. "More than any . . . other woman . . . I've ever known."

"Do you want me with you?"

"Yes, but . . . for the . . . right reasons."

"What are your reasons?"

"Because . . . we . . . love each other . . . and not . . . because I want you . . . to take care . . . of me."

"I don't need to. You're already taking care of yourself. I know you're probably going to have some difficulty speaking and walking for the rest of your life but that's okay."

Tears came to Sam's eyes. "Please don't push me away. I would rather be with you more than any other man I've ever known. I'm never going to stop loving you."

Jack hesitated for a moment. "Promise?"

Sam quickly wiped her eyes. "Yes. I promise. Pinky promise. Cross my heart and hope to die promise. Until death do us part promise."

Jack grinned. "Well, I . . . guess that . . . settles it . . . then."

Sam leaned over and kissed him. After the kiss was over, she could see that there was something he wanted to say.

"What is it?"

He couldn't bring himself to look at her and stared at the floor.

Sam put her hand on his. "What's wrong? You can tell me anything."

"It's just . . . that . . . I don't know if . . . I can . . . make love to you . . . I don't know . . . if I can . . . have sex . . . because . . . of the stroke."

Sam stood up and held out her hands. "Let's go find out."

Jack stared at her. "Are you . . . sure?"

"Don't you think we've waited long enough? You don't know how many times I've dreamed of making love with you."

Jack grasped her hands and stood up and they headed to his bedroom.

Sometime later, they lay in bed with Sam's head on Jack's shoulder, her arm resting on his chest with his arm wrapped around her back.

Sam looked up at him. "This really had you worried, didn't it?"

"What can I say? I am a . . . guy, you know."

Sam smiled. "Yes, you certainly are."

Later that afternoon, they sat on the front porch. Jack had his arm around Sam's shoulder and her hand was on his thigh.

"I remembered . . . something . . . when I was. . . in rehab."

Sam turned to look at him. "What?"

"The day . . . I came to Houston . . . on the flight . . . back, I realized that . . . I had . . . pushed you . . . away and I . . . regretted doing . . . that and . . . I was going to . . . call you when . . . I got home . . . and apologize and . . . ask you to . . . forgive me . . . and tell you that I . . . wanted to give us . . . a chance."

"But the stroke happened and you didn't get to. Oh Jack, I'm so sorry."

"Not . . . your fault."

"No, it's nobody's fault. It just makes me sad that we've wasted so much time when we should have been together long ago."

Jack kissed her temple. "But . . . we're . . . together now."

Sam smiled. "Yes, we finally are and nothing is going to keep us apart."

"You're right. And . . . to make . . . sure of that, will you . . . marry me?"

Tears filled Sam's eyes and she nodded her head as she whispered "yes."

Jack put his arms around her and kissed her.

 **~oOo~**

One week later, Sam answered a knock on the door of the cabin to find Teal'c and Daniel standing on the porch and she gave them both a hug.

"Jack and I are glad you could come. He's fishing on the dock. Let's go join him."

As they came around the corner of the house, they could see Jack sitting in a chair with his ankles crossed and a fishing pole in his hands. A Homer Simpson cap was on his head.

"Jack, look who's here."

Jack looked up at them. "Hi . . . guys."

Daniel put his hand on Jack's shoulder. "Hey. Good to see you."

"You . . . too."

"Have you caught any fish, O'Neill?" Teal'c asked.

"No. I think . . . they all . . swam away."

Sam sat down in a chair beside Jack and Daniel and Teal'c sat on the dock.

They talked for a while until Sam glanced at her watch. "Lunch is in the oven and it should be ready by now so let's go eat."

Jack laid down the fishing pole and they all stood up. Sam grabbed Jack's cane and handed it to him as she linked her arm through his and they headed to the cabin.

After lunch was over they sat talking at the table.

Jack looked at Sam. "Should we . . . tell 'em?"

"Yes, we should."

Daniel raised his eyebrows. "What's up guys?"

Jack took Sam's hand. "I . . . proposed."

Sam grinned. "And I accepted."

Daniel smiled. "Oh, that's great! Congratulations. When's the wedding?"

Sam squeezed Jack's hand. "We haven't set a date yet but we only want to have the two of you, Cassie, General Hammond and Mark and his family at the ceremony."

"Will you live here?" Teal'c asked.

Sam shook her head. "Jack has been urging me to get back to work in Houston and I think it's time so we're going to stay in my apartment and start searching for a house. We'll come here when I can take time off."

Daniel sat back in his chair. "Teal'c and I are glad that you're finally together and you deserve to be after everything that's happened. I've never seen you both so happy."

Sam smiled at Jack. "I've been crazy about him for a very long time."

Jack winked at Sam and smiled. "I . . . kinda . . . like you . . . too."

Sam chuckled. "You 'kinda' like me?"

Jack stared at Sam as his face grew serious. "I love you . . . Sam."

Sam kissed Jack's cheek as Daniel and Teal'c looked at each other and smiled.

The End


End file.
